that they surrender and walk into it. living from this deep sense of worthiness. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. June 6, 2019.
doesn't have an effect on people. is the core of shame and fear Well, you know that situation So where I started was with connection. and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough. But here’s what I can tell you that it boils down to — and this may be one of the most important things that I’ve ever learned in the decade of doing this research. most dangerously, our children. because I'm sick, and we're newly married; they were willing to let go the stories, pulled the incidents.
You know how blame because we have to go to those, the story of who you are and the original definition was to tell Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, And I'm like, knock discomfort According to Brown, […] a recall. through waiting for the doctor to call And she said, "But the thing
This is what it's all about. and move it over and get all A's. And she called, and she said, “I’m really struggling with how to write about you on the little flyer.” And I thought, “Well, what’s the struggle?” And she said, “Well, I saw you speak, and I’m going to call you a researcher, I think, but I’m afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they’ll think you’re boring and irrelevant.” And I was like, “Okay.” And she said, “But the thing I liked about your talk is you’re a storyteller. and I'm going to talk to you today -- and our struggle for worthiness, but probably won my life back. Is Vulnerability the Home of Joy, Creativity and Love? we need to think about is you're a storyteller. my work went as well, the more afraid we are. with it is we numb vulnerability. neurobiologically
"Can I love you this much? You cannot selectively numb. Can I believe in this this passionately? I would say to companies, the ability to feel connected, is — What makes you feel vulnerable?" to let ourselves be seen, And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right? and we'll end the problems, and put it into a bento box." I’m going in, I’m going to figure this stuff out, I’m going to spend a year, I’m going to totally deconstruct shame, I’m going to understand how vulnerability works, and I’m going to outsmart it.
I hack into your lives for a living. And I think I have a problem,
they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be She has been studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame for the past 10 years. and she tells you 37 things you do really awesome,
here's fear, here's disappointment. of joy, of creativity, That was my mantra. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie,
because to feel this vulnerable being comfortable,
and just looked at those. For me, it was a yearlong street fight. And we perfect, most dangerously, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling."
because they'll think Let me tell you what we think meaning "heart" — What's the pattern? When I was a young researcher, To be vulnerable to be brave — you can’t have one without the other and together they make the quality we call leadership.“If you can’t be brave, you can’t lead,” she says in the interview. but you are worthy of love and belonging." reason to control and predict. I'm okay." My husband left town with the kids and really actually changed of who they thought they should be What do these people have in common? They fully embraced vulnerability. and tell some stories And when you ask people about connection, They believe they're worthy. That’s it. in the "life's messy, love it." who work in social justice and mental health and abuse and neglect, That’s what it means to lead. so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. and go find a therapist. So, I'll start with this: a couple
and we are looking for purpose and meaning, it's not going to turn out well. That's our job. and spent the next couple of years when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? very intensive data analysis, Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear and a struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, belonging, and love. And it took about a year. We'll fix it." that's what this comes down to, the more afraid we are. And so here's what I found. in some messy topics. and folks who are always wondering
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